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Irenes_Shoe
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Name: Irene
Birthday: 8/30/1980
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, writing, working out, singing, dancing, PARTYING! ;)
Expertise: -B.A. in English Creative Writing
-Minored in Journalism, Media News And Society
-SAT Prep Instructor
Occupation: Student
Industry: Legal
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/25/2002
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| Oh good God, what a whiny bitch-ass entry that was. The one below this. I'm not that much of a bitch ass that I'll delete it, though. So you can pretty much scroll down and laugh at me if you like. Go ahead! I dare you! haha.
It's pretty pussy to delete a previous entry I think... unless the entry contains terrible, top-secret, or extremely embarrassing content that is the humiliating equivalent to a drunk dial...except it's...a drunkenly written entry posted for all to see on the web and able to be Googled at any given time unless it's deleted right away.
Yeah. Then it'd be okay to delete a previous entry.
I just think that people who go back and read their old sob stories that sound stupid six months later should just chill and chalk that shit up to emotional distress. I mean, if six months ago, this entry was good enough to post and leave up for everyone in your blog ring to see, then it was obviously something that you needed to express. Why go back and delete it later? It would just be a pathetic, futile way of trying to erase the past. Pathetic because doing so indicates an inability to face up to old problems and futile because erasing an entry doesn't erase the fact that that shit happened.
I really think that the beauty of a public journal (at least, an honestly written one) is that it really brings across the idea that we are all human. We write about good things and bad things and stupid things and sad things and funny things and random things. A person who edits his or her bad/sad things out of their journal after the fact is putting a lot of pressure on that poor little weblog to present him or her as a perfect person.
And perfect is boring. I wouldn't read a perfect person's weblog.
With that being said, I don't necessarily think that a weblog should be some sort of forum for constant whining. I hate stumbling upon pages that belong to people who say "Oh my god, I cried over this guy for like four hours" in ten consecutive entries or "Sometimes I want to die because my life is so horrible" in every damn entry. In my humble opinion, people should be saying this sort of stuff to their friends, or family, or therapist. I mean, yeah, say what you're feeling, but seriously, don't try to garner sympathy from people that you only keep in touch with through a weblog. What're you hoping to get? A hundred e-hugs?
Haha, I have a feeling someone is going to say, "Well, Irene, you didn't take your last breakup so well, you little bitch...check out your old entries!"
Yeah. I can't really practice what I preach. But I TRY! | | |
| FUCK!
This sounds kind of trivial, but I'm stressed out lately, because I can't keep up with my own social life. I feel terrible, because people ask me to do things that I say I can and then can't, for example, last week someone asked me to look at their paper, which normally I'm really responsible about, and also someone last week asked me to do some party guest list stuff for them, something else I'm usually really thorough about. But I FUCKED UP and forgot to do both things because I've been carried away with finding a job and wrapping up school stuff, and moving out of the dorms, and other favors/events/just plain spending time sessions with various groups of people.
I feel like I have to be in five different places at one time and if I'm not, then everyone will get pissed off at me. Maybe I'm too nice of a fucking pussy, but I guess I just don't like saying no.
I hate breaking my word, and I hate not being able to be there for every fucking person I know.
I think I just need to learn how to be direct and say no for once in my pathetic, pussy, too nice life. | | |
| Ugh. Why can't I ever sleep when I have the time to sleep? And why do I pass out when I shouldn't be sleeping?
I really envy those people who can just knock out and fall asleep the second they close their eyes, no matter what time of the day it might be or where they might happen to be sitting/lying down.
I wonder if those people are the ones who just work harder than I do, or exercise more than I do? Do they wake up earlier than I do? Do they walk an extra mile more than I normally walk in the course of the day?
Usually, when I can't fall asleep, it's because I am plagued by thoughts of (in no particular order):
-guilt (things I've done wrong, said wrong, handled wrong, will do wrong, am doing wrong, haven't done, won't ever do)
-anxiety (about things I need to do, things I've forgotten to do, things I told myself I would do, things that will screw me over, people that might screw me over, people I might have screwed over, my future, my past, my job, my schoolwork, my family, my freedom, my aging process, my complexion, my weight, my financial problems, my debts, my credit score, life, death, it just goes on and on and on.)
-fear (scary things that go bump in the night, scary images that pop into my head just as I'm about to fall asleep, the thought that I might never fall asleep, the idea that the next day will bring something unpredictable and potentially earth-shattering, the idea that I'm getting older but not getting wiser, the thought that the more I learn, the stupider I get, the very plausible thought that I may never fully learn how to support or take care of myself, mentally, physically, or financially.)
-envy (over people that are cooler than me--don't ask how I gauge this--, over people with nicer asses than mine, over people with better hair than me, people who have better jobs than I have, people with freedom, people with money, people with looks, freedom, fabulous jobs, and money)
Yeah, such thoughts as I've specified above usually swarm through my brain in an endless barrage of masochistic torture until I try to assuage them by counting my blessings. But usually, once I've counted my blessings, I am again instantly inundated with feelings of guilt for not appreciating such blessings. And then the whole thing starts all over again.
YUCK YUCK YUCK. This is SO bad for my skin. I believe it is time to invest in some Tylenol PM...vanilla flavored...mmmm.... | | |
| Some Things I Don't Get
1. How a good plastic surgeon can make you a star:
http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/archives/004662.html
The fuck?! I mean, good for her, but dayam how great would I look if I had the money to do all that shit? Shiiiit...
2. How Candace Cameron from Full House grew up to become a psycho Christian mom with a psycho blog site with a psycho Christian ten commandments quiz link attached to it (Are you a good Christian? Click to find out!)
http://www.candacecameronbure.net/
3. How Miss Goody Two Shoes Elizabeth Berkeley aka Jesse Spano from Saved by the Bell who did the best TV freakout melodramatic daytime television scene in history ("Time? Time? There's never enough time! I can do it! I can sing! I just need one of these! I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...so scared!!!" That's the one where she gets addicted to caffeine pills and her and Kelly and Lisa make a music video.) to doing the worst ever pool sex scene in movie history in Showgirls.
4. How Jessica Alba went from acting in Flipper to doing Sin City. (Sheer hotness, I'm guessing)
5. How Jamie Foxx went from doing In Living Color to winning an Oscar for Ray. (He deserved it, though)
6. How Halle Berry went from doing the Flintstones to winning the Best Actress Oscar (Sheer hotness plus the Oscar organization facing heat for racial discrimination)
7. Why Will Ferrell will play Darrin in the feature film version of Bewitched opposite Nicole Kidman. I can't imagine Will Ferrell in the same room as Nicole Kidman, much less see them in the same movie, much less a movie where Nicole Kidman greatly resembles the original actress in the show and where Will Ferrell does not AT ALL resemble the original actor in the original show.
Well, that was a random little entry. Just an ill-sorted list of the various things (a few out of MANY) that confound me about the entertainment world.
Other thoughts? Please share.
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| DOH! 4/20 has rolled around yet again, and AGAIN I did not partake of the herbal mental enhancers that Mother Nature has to offer. What the deuce!?
In my defense, I have been working on a creative piece that is due at 9 AM tomorrow, so please don't think I have become boring, or that I no longer appreciate the pleasures of indulging in moral and physical decay. I certainly haven't grown up in any way. I simply had to finish writing this devil of a story for my class. Because I am scared of my teacher. Boo hoo.
But it's okay. I am going to save the world with this piece. Then I will sell it to large, corrupt corporations who will in turn supply me with all the money, nose candy, weed, and bikinis a girl could want. Living in the lap of luxury in the year 2025, I will look back on this Xanga entry and think "Ha! What a little sissy girl I was to bitch about not smoking on 4/20. Now that I am rich and famous, I can smoke every day in the style of Snoop Dogg and other rappers who wear exorbitant amounts of shiny jewelry!" Oh, it will be sweet.
Sweeeet.
And now that I have consoled myself with that pathetic, unrealistic trip to WillNeverHappenLand, I can semi-happily get back to work. | | |
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